Long Time Non-Smoker.

To be completely honest, I have lost track! I would have to get out a calendar, and count weeks/months/days to remember it all. Lets just say, I decided to quit smoking, and ACTUALLY did it, on 9/2/2014. (or, midday 9/1/2014) So, I've been a non-smoker for a little over 8 months!


I have been doing great. No smoking for me. I have done 1 5k mud run, and 1 5k. So, my mud run was in April. I didn't run an entire mile before I started walking. I just kind of went back and forth between running and walking. No biggie. I didn't want to kill myself with running, because I had to save my strength for more important things, like climbing walls, and swimming through ice cold pond water, with moss and pond weeds coming up, and grabbing at your ankles. So, I wasn't too worried about running that one. ;)


The 5k I did, today, was great. I feel great. I felt great running it. I talked my husband into running with our daughter, because, she refuses to run, and I wanted to time myself. Well, he ran it. I ended up running solo. But, get this! I ran the entire first mile, without stopping to walk! Now, this is impressive, because, this is the first time I have ever done this. Even as a child, in elementary school, I would do the mile run tests at the end of every year, and fail. Miserably. It was awful. I couldn't run a mile in 5th grade. I couldn't run a mile in 9th grade. I couldn't run a mile at college graduation. I ran almost an entire mile, at age 32! What?! Holy crap!


And guess what?! I COULD BREATHE THE ENTIRE TIME! That's HUGE! (If you couldn't tell by the allcaps)


Remember, if you go back to the beginning of this blog, and read my first few entries, I believe I shared how much I smoked. I was creeping, almost past a pack a day. No wonder I couldn't breathe. And I started smoking when I was 11! I will go to jail for child abuse, if I catch my kid smoking. I wish I could say "I know my kid won't smoke! She saw me struggle to quit, and begged me to quit and knows what smoking does..." But, I was that kid. I knew that smoking was bad. I knew it would make me sick, and stink, and cost me money, and cause me to have bad teeth, and bad breath. I knew it could cause cancer.


Yet, I lit that fist cigarette. I choked my way through that first cigarette. Then I choked my way though more. I did this until it became easier and easier. Then, I needed it. I had to have a cigarette in the morning when I woke up. I needed one after each meal. I needed one when I was bored. I needed one, just because. I paused movies because I wanted to smoke a cigarette, and didn't want to wait until the movie was over. I didn't swim, at the pool, because  I wanted to have dry hands, so I could smoke when the feeling struck.  Don't even get me started on our road trip to Virginia, or South Dakota.


My life started to revolve around when I could smoke.


No more!


So, I run these races, saying goodbye to the smoker I used to be, and hello to the non-smoker I am today.

No Smoking Here! 6+ months!

Can you believe it?? I'm barely believing it! Over 6 months of not smoking. Over. Six. Months! That's half a year!

I started working out again, and I'm trying to establish a routine that works for my schedule (which is CRAZY).

So far, I've worked out 9 out of the last 11 days. Woohoo!

Okay. For anyone who hasn't kept up with this blog from the beginning: I decided it was time to quit smoking, when I did an obstacle course run, and felt like I was going to die, before even STARTING any obstacles.

It was before even a half mile. Of course, I was climbing a hill, that is meant to be skied (skiied?) down. The kicker? I was BARELY walking up that hill.

My lungs were burning, and it wasn't from the August heat in Missouri. My pulse was off the charts. My eyes felt like they were buldging out of my head. I wanted to cough. Hell, maybe I did cough.

 I just remember, I didn't enjoy myself, during that run. I sign up for ocrs, because I think they are fun.  It wasn't fun. At all. I was embarrassed.

 And then there were the photos. Oh. Dear. God. The photos. My face was a scowl in every single one. I should have been smiling, and having a good time.

Nope.

Because why?

Because I smoked.

Because I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
And now?
Have a look:

I want to tell anyone who is struggling to quit, that you can do it! It takes 21 days to form a habit. Use the patch, finds something for your hands to do, for 21 days. You will be as amazed with yourself as I still am with myself. I only used the patch for 8-10 weeks. Now, I'm completely off of nicotine! 

Good luck, fellow quitters! 

❤

Tabbie

day 45

Step 2 has gotten a lot easier. I haven't had any cravings. I'm not as cranky, or irritable. Big plus for my family, especially my husband.

I'm working 4 nights, then I'll be on vacation!! By the time I'm back from vaca, I'll be done with my patches. Or very close to done.

Not much to say. I'm still a quitter.

days 34 & 35

It's less than a week until I step down to step 2 of the nicoderm CQ patches. So, in less than 5 weeks I will be weened from nicotine, completely!

I'm getting a little scared.

Thoughts run through my mind, like "What if I start having cravings again, when I'm not getting as much nicotine,  transdermally?" 

And many others like that. 

As of right now, I am determined to keep this up. I don't want to smoke anymore. I don't want to be nicotine's little bitch, ever again. 

Now, don't take that the wrong way. I'm not saying smokers are nicotine's bitches. I'm saying I was. It controlled everything I did. 

I would eat really fast, when my family and I would go out to dinner, just so I could smoke a cigarette before they were done eating, and before they were ready to leave. 

I would let Meg sleep an extra 10 minutes, so I could get in that morning smoke. 

We wouldn't leave for places on time, because I'd stand outside of the car, smoking a cigarette, just to get my fix.

Is that not the most sickening thing?

 I mean there are worse things in this world to become addicted to. Some people are alcoholics, and struggle with it every single day of their lives, whether they are still indulging, or fighting the good fight.

Some people are addicted to harsher, more frowned upon drugs, like meth, coke, crack, or heroin. 

Some are struggling with prescription medications, and that battle is one I was terrified of. I can see how easy it would be, to become addicted to muscle relaxers. This is the reason I always refused painkillers, anytime I was in the ER. No, Dr. Thank you though, aleve will work just fine. And anytime they did prescribe me painkillers, I would throw the scrip away, right in front of them. Ha! 

But, my addiction? It comes with multiple ways to quit. How lucky am I, to have so many options, to help me succeed? Where many of the options have failed, I am praying this one continues to work. I'm hoping the patch, along with my will and determination, can win this war. 

Btw, I keep having dreams that I am smoking. Sometimes, since I'm a very active sleeper, I want to tie a bell to my ankle, just to make sure I'm not sleep smoking. (I would go outside)

Anyway. That's all for this round. 

XOXO